I am going to attempt to learn how to play 'Hang You Up' by Yellowcard on the guitar. Not that newsworthy at first glance. However, I am attempting to do so: a) not being able to play the guitar, b) on my sister's old, out of tune guitar, c) for the CU acoustic night on the 28th September. I think I may fail...
I really wish I could play the guitar. To be able to just play a song that says what I want to say would be amazing. I really hate the thought of having to rely on other people to accompany me whilst I sing said song, it makes it feel less personal. I doubt I have the patience to teach myself, however as none of my guitar-playing friends seem to be willing to teach me (minus Rachel- cheers! It was fun :) ) I will try.
At some point in my life (hopefully soon) I will learn the guitar. Then maybe I'll feel less inadequate around musically-talented/ taught people. Maybe I'd be worthy enough to be in SD. *sigh* now I'm declining into self-pity. I WILL LEARN TO PLAY THE GUITAR. I WILL. Whether I can do so in time for the acoustic night is yet to be determined.
Saturday, 27 August 2011
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
The Sound of You and Me
Know this please
I will not forget the sound of you and me when we were friends
Someday everything ends
Can't we begin finding a way back before we're too late
And lost in between the truth and the dream
I've never been more ready to move on
I have decided I have had enough. I've had enough of people who make me feel like I'm not good enough and like it's too much to ask to ask them to give a damn (being fair, sometimes not their fault. Occasionally.) Maybe I am expecting too much to start off with, and for some of the time I think that's to blame for this feeling. Other times, on the other hand, are definitely worth my feeling hurt and angry. When someone can't make an effort ever, and then, when called on it, can't even try and fix it, like a real friend would, and just leave me feeling guilty because I think I expect too much. I don't think a friend should make you feel like you don't have an right to ask them to make time for you. I have put up with too many of this because I really wanted to be close to that person. In the end, it just hurts too much. So, I'm going to stop chasing after those people. I'll let you know how that goes...
I will not forget the sound of you and me when we were friends
Someday everything ends
Can't we begin finding a way back before we're too late
And lost in between the truth and the dream
I've never been more ready to move on
I have decided I have had enough. I've had enough of people who make me feel like I'm not good enough and like it's too much to ask to ask them to give a damn (being fair, sometimes not their fault. Occasionally.) Maybe I am expecting too much to start off with, and for some of the time I think that's to blame for this feeling. Other times, on the other hand, are definitely worth my feeling hurt and angry. When someone can't make an effort ever, and then, when called on it, can't even try and fix it, like a real friend would, and just leave me feeling guilty because I think I expect too much. I don't think a friend should make you feel like you don't have an right to ask them to make time for you. I have put up with too many of this because I really wanted to be close to that person. In the end, it just hurts too much. So, I'm going to stop chasing after those people. I'll let you know how that goes...
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Happiness is not a destination
Ok, so I stole this from OTH, but you can get some good life lessons from it:
(paraphrasing a little, my memory's not that good)
Happiness is a mood, like hunger or tiredness. Too many people view it as a destination: if I get this, do that, meet the right person, then, then I will be happy. They forget that, as a mood, it can come and go. So they don't look for the little everyday moments of happiness. When you do, you realise just how many there are.
Question: Is it ok to feel miserable sometimes?
Answer: Is it ok to feel hungry sometimes?
Just as you eat when you're hungry, when you're miserable find some 'happiness food'. It probably won't 'fill you up' with happiness in the same way as eating fills you up (if only it were that easy...), but, speaking for myself, I find that actively doing something/spending time with people who make me happy takes the edge off whatever it is I'm moping about. It also reminds me that life isn't all that bad. It might be a bit crappy sometimes, but all in all life is beautiful. Appreciate every moment of happiness. Never forgo your little moments of everyday happiness for a 'someday I will be happy'.
Happiness is a state, not a destination.
(paraphrasing a little, my memory's not that good)
Happiness is a mood, like hunger or tiredness. Too many people view it as a destination: if I get this, do that, meet the right person, then, then I will be happy. They forget that, as a mood, it can come and go. So they don't look for the little everyday moments of happiness. When you do, you realise just how many there are.
Question: Is it ok to feel miserable sometimes?
Answer: Is it ok to feel hungry sometimes?
Just as you eat when you're hungry, when you're miserable find some 'happiness food'. It probably won't 'fill you up' with happiness in the same way as eating fills you up (if only it were that easy...), but, speaking for myself, I find that actively doing something/spending time with people who make me happy takes the edge off whatever it is I'm moping about. It also reminds me that life isn't all that bad. It might be a bit crappy sometimes, but all in all life is beautiful. Appreciate every moment of happiness. Never forgo your little moments of everyday happiness for a 'someday I will be happy'.
Happiness is a state, not a destination.
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
We need each other
I noticed I havne't blogged for a while...a long while. So now, instead of finishing off my EPQ essay (in which I have been finishing two or three paragraphs for about 3 weeks) I shall write some of my thoughts.
Life is a complicated thing; every day there are a million things going on that we can only hope to understand. Most of the trouble, I must say, comes from people and our respective relationships. There is a startling amount of miscommunication, people taking things differently to how they were intended or even a complete lack of communication. People seem remarkably adept at misconstruing other's intentions, or simply choosing an obscure course of action that renders the situation infinitely more difficult than it would otherwise have been.
I often think it would be so much easier if people were less afraid to say how they feel, and if other people were more prepared to listen with an open mind. Too many people are too quick to take other people's emotional difficulties as insults, and can't seem to step back and think 'What should I do to make this better instead of worse?'! After all, none of us can help how we feel and surely the world wouldn't be such a good place if everyone never told anyone how they felt for fear of the repercussions. That seems to me a world without trust. An integral part of trusting someone is knowing that you can tell them how you feel about a situation, related to them or not, good or bad, and they wouldn't take it as an insult or start an argument. Of course, you have a responsibility to take their views into account too; there are always two sides to a story, both equally worthwhile. I think people too often forget that.
I will leave you with a quote from a Sanctus Real song that sums this up perfectly:
"We never meant to hurt each other so can we trust again? And take it as a chance to keep on growing. I don't know why it doesn't come easy, but I know that we could be happy, if we'd only learn to love.
We need each other, so what's the fighting for? We need each other, so please don't close the door. We need each other through all the highs and lows, 'cause no one's meant to be alone"
The song's awesome :)
Life is a complicated thing; every day there are a million things going on that we can only hope to understand. Most of the trouble, I must say, comes from people and our respective relationships. There is a startling amount of miscommunication, people taking things differently to how they were intended or even a complete lack of communication. People seem remarkably adept at misconstruing other's intentions, or simply choosing an obscure course of action that renders the situation infinitely more difficult than it would otherwise have been.
I often think it would be so much easier if people were less afraid to say how they feel, and if other people were more prepared to listen with an open mind. Too many people are too quick to take other people's emotional difficulties as insults, and can't seem to step back and think 'What should I do to make this better instead of worse?'! After all, none of us can help how we feel and surely the world wouldn't be such a good place if everyone never told anyone how they felt for fear of the repercussions. That seems to me a world without trust. An integral part of trusting someone is knowing that you can tell them how you feel about a situation, related to them or not, good or bad, and they wouldn't take it as an insult or start an argument. Of course, you have a responsibility to take their views into account too; there are always two sides to a story, both equally worthwhile. I think people too often forget that.
I will leave you with a quote from a Sanctus Real song that sums this up perfectly:
"We never meant to hurt each other so can we trust again? And take it as a chance to keep on growing. I don't know why it doesn't come easy, but I know that we could be happy, if we'd only learn to love.
We need each other, so what's the fighting for? We need each other, so please don't close the door. We need each other through all the highs and lows, 'cause no one's meant to be alone"
The song's awesome :)
Saturday, 23 January 2010
That's 4 lives ruined
I am referring to the horrendous event in the news recently of 2 children basically torturing another 2, nearly killing one of them. I emphasis 'children' because they were, at the time, 10 and 11! Obviously there has been a wave of shocked responses to this. I read one columnist today who called them 'savages'. However, when I read stories like this, whilst the things they did were very repulsive, I am not repulsed by the children themselves. In fact, cases like this make me feel deeply sad for the perpetrators. These are not adults, or indeed children who knew right from wrong, they were children who had grown up in an environment in which they had never learnt that things like this are not acceptable. I won't go into the details, but one thing that I will mention, something that bothers me a lot, is that they were allowed to watch violent films (Chucky was the example given). Now, if you or I were to watch films like this, we would know (I hope) that this is pure fiction and should never be carried out in real life, to real people. However, these children were 10 and 11 and their upbringing means they have never learnt this. A child of that age, especially when brought up in that kind of environment, has no capacity for empathy, in particular in reference to being able to understand that violence has consequences. They are probably incapable of knowing that the victim of their violence feels pain and fear, and that they are really feeling these things, rather than simply being characters in a film or video game.
My point, therefore, is that the actions of the boys' parents has, in effect, ruined 4 young childrens' lives; the 2 victims who will obviously be severely traumatised, but also the 2 perpetrators who will forever be branded as 'monsters' and 'savages'.
My prayers for the victims and their family and also for the state of our society; may God use this atrocious event as a catalyst for change in our hearts, and in society as a whole.
You may not agree with Christianity, but you have to agree that its values are worth teaching to the generations to come. Love, patience, empathy...without these all future children will be as 'monstrous' as those above.
My point, therefore, is that the actions of the boys' parents has, in effect, ruined 4 young childrens' lives; the 2 victims who will obviously be severely traumatised, but also the 2 perpetrators who will forever be branded as 'monsters' and 'savages'.
My prayers for the victims and their family and also for the state of our society; may God use this atrocious event as a catalyst for change in our hearts, and in society as a whole.
You may not agree with Christianity, but you have to agree that its values are worth teaching to the generations to come. Love, patience, empathy...without these all future children will be as 'monstrous' as those above.
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
Holding on
So tomorrow is Saturday and it's been a week. A week to add to my waiting time. Waiting at the best of times is bad; the word itself is reminiscent of airport queues, late transport, impatience. However, waiting for something for so long that you're not sure you want it anymore seems to me to be the height of irony. What do you do if what you're waiting for could, despite your best efforts, never happen. After a certain amount of time should you just give up and accept that it's probably never going to happen? Or will giving up just make you realise how much time you wasted waiting...
I hate to give up.
I hate to give up.
Saturday, 16 January 2010
On being a Christian
It interests me to note that atheists get away with a, frankly, disturbing level of double-standards. For example, whilst researching for my EPQ (on Christianity) I noticed that a lot of comment threads were full of atheists abusing Christians, calling them (or shall I say, us) a myriad of unpleasant things, such as brainless, incapable of logical thought, blind. Now, as I understand it, many atheists think that Christians are hypocrites and whilst I agree that some are, and all will at one time or another slip up, I don't understand how someone can sit and generically accuse Christians of hypocrisy, then write things like that whilst maintaining their view that it's only right that Christians respect their right to believe whatever they want. See the problem?
As a Christian myself I have noticed that it involves putting up with a lot of hurtful comments and reactions; you invite someone to a Christian event and they scoff, your friends say things like 'Jesus!' when something bad happens and you know that if you ask them not to they probably won't appreciate just how much it bothers you. However, I would like to add that part of the 'Christian thing' is persecution and people not understanding you. Jesus said so himself. I think that being a Christian in this country has been very easy up to now; after all Christianity was the automatic religion of everyone who didn't believe otherwise. Up until fairly recently, and still now I notice, people were Christians because they'd been baptised, or their parents said they were or they went to Church occasionally. So maybe it's a good thing that it's getting harder to be a Christian; it means people are thinking about what they believe, so increasingly only those who have embraced true Christianity are calling themselves followers of Christ, which can only be a good thing.
On that note, I have one more point. A friend recently referred to me as 'passionate' about my Christianity, I don't think you can have 'impassionate' Christians. What's the point if it doesn't fill your heart and overflow into your life?
Food for thought :)
As a Christian myself I have noticed that it involves putting up with a lot of hurtful comments and reactions; you invite someone to a Christian event and they scoff, your friends say things like 'Jesus!' when something bad happens and you know that if you ask them not to they probably won't appreciate just how much it bothers you. However, I would like to add that part of the 'Christian thing' is persecution and people not understanding you. Jesus said so himself. I think that being a Christian in this country has been very easy up to now; after all Christianity was the automatic religion of everyone who didn't believe otherwise. Up until fairly recently, and still now I notice, people were Christians because they'd been baptised, or their parents said they were or they went to Church occasionally. So maybe it's a good thing that it's getting harder to be a Christian; it means people are thinking about what they believe, so increasingly only those who have embraced true Christianity are calling themselves followers of Christ, which can only be a good thing.
On that note, I have one more point. A friend recently referred to me as 'passionate' about my Christianity, I don't think you can have 'impassionate' Christians. What's the point if it doesn't fill your heart and overflow into your life?
Food for thought :)
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